Sunday, May 27, 2007
6:48 PM
and so it is.
"the end", as most pple puts it, is here for me. but im in no celebratory mood or anything, just glad that it is over. dont worry, im not going to starting describing what happened in the exam hall. and ask me how it went, and i will just reply with "i dont have any clue how i will fare". i may just end up taking the blue paper next year. but whatever it is, it doesnt matter anymore does it, because it's over.
while preparing for my last paper, i tried to jot down as many important quotes as possible, citing the authors' name and year of publication, and then it hit me that i am not enjoying my study. sadly, i did not use much of those quotes that i have starred or listed, because none of them came out while i attempt to write 4 flowing essays in 3 hrs. and yes i know i wont score high for it, and will probably have a pretty high chance of getting a disgusting grade, but its just not me to write an essay filled with other's opinions. and therefore i cannot write or publish any papers. which means i am not going to be a researcher.
the thing is i truly believe in education and learning, but not exams. you dont need to be tested to know whether you understood the topic. it's about application, not regurgitation. yes you may test if a student is able to apply the concept when answering the questions, but really grades are just a reflection of how well a student perform during the examination, whether is he able to answer all the questions within a time frame and how well he remembers his stuff. grades is not the best indicator of performance, as they do not reflect the effort put into the process. but sadly pple only look at outcomes. grades do matter.
even the best falls down some times
even the star refuse to shine
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
4:52 AM
the past few days i have been thinking: is it worse to look back at something in anger or to look back at something in regret? the difference lies in you have regrets but not anger. and somehow regret brings a much more negative impact than anger. anyhow, both anger and regret are not desirable feelings to bear, and therefore, it is always good to think before acting.
anw.. i always try to make optimal decisions and do the right things, such that when i look back i wouldn't start having "i could have.." or "i should have.." thoughts and then start pounding myself hard. (yeah i literally punch myself) therefore to prevent myself from sending the dagger straight into my heart, i refrain from looking back and always look forward to something better, happier or even utopia. right now i am feeling stoic, and this is not good. anyway... just principles of social policy left. i need to nail it.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
8:48 PM
an honest mistake
Big bro called me by the wrong name when he took over the phone from my mum, and it hit me that I havent been home for almost half a year already. If only time could fly faster, then they wouldn't have to miss me so much.
4:03 AM
I wanted to blog about some thoughts, but everything just came out very incoherently. Writing has never been my forte, and putting random thoughts into a flowing paragraph can really prove to be a huge challenge to me. I don't know how i am going to conquer my essay modules, though I know practicing essays help. But I am just too unmotivated to do that. sigh.
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend."-- Albert Camus
Thursday, May 10, 2007
6:54 AM
I chanced upon this quote on a website and I really liked it.. though I don't really remember the story anymore.
Alice: "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
Cheshire Cat: "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
Alice: "I don't much care where - "
Cheshire Cat: "Then it doesn't matter which way you go."
Alice: " - so long as I get somewhere."
Cheshire Cat: "Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk far enough."
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
4:26 PM
everytime when im on the verge to explode, i will just tell myself to shut up and cool down. and then i assess the situation again. and then i'll do the right thing. and everything is back to equilibrium again. i often realised that the process would have been much more pleasant, have i not been so quick to reply. although the final outcome would be the same eventually, but the unpleasant process would just add on to the portfolio of "unpleasant events/memories", which eventually would be forgiven and forgotten.
and i want to change that. i want to change for the better.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
8:04 PM
selfishness is the ugliest triat of all human beings.